[D15, EA, briefing room, expecting] What could we do?

[Dorgan Bruun]

"I reckon young Bruun was a fair amount different than me. Gambling was fine, especially when there were no women around. Drinking, drugs, most anything you can imagine. It all helps you get over killing people the first few times, makes that seem more natural and just part of the job. You can even convince yourself that all the bad choices in your off hours are just part of the job, too. Every merc is doing it, right?" He gives a sad chuckle. "Then as those people die off, if you're still alive you maybe start making better choices."

[Felicity]

She turned around, placing her lower back against the holotank base. "I can imagine. I worked as a musician on a Canopian pleasure caravan for a couple years. I didn't have have an excuse like getting over people dying though. I was just being... rebellious, si. I was a stupid girl as a teenager." She smiled and laughed. "I'm not that bright now, but I limit myself better. Eehm, the main thing is we have both learned from it, si? You... You can't regret the past forever and a day. Well, that's what my father always said. Anyway, we just each need to make better choices from now on. That's how I see it. I'm hoping after this that we are filthy rich." Her smile grew. "That would help, wouldn't it?"

[Dorgan Bruun]

Bruun looks down when Felicity mentions her father. There's a delay before he finally answers, "Rich sounds good. Plenty of mercenary time you can't plan for the future because you gotta be making money now." He looks off to the side, like he's looking through a window at another world.

[Felicity]

"Terra to Bruun...? Ah, maybe that should be Illium? Eehm, you okay Bruun?"

[Dorgan Bruun]

"Uh, sorry." He runs a hand over his face and head. "The past sucks and the future is... whatever it is," he says blandly. "What were we talking about?" He blinks his eyes like he's waking from a dream.

[Felicity]

"Becoming rich. You, este... seemed to get distracted when I mentioned my father." Which is strange. Felicity regarded him with a little concern.

[Dorgan Bruun]

Bruun looks down immediately. Without looking up, he says, "Oh. Yeah. That's..." He sighs heavily.

Looking up at Fee, it's fairly clear that he doesn't want to talk, but he's doing it anyway. With a hard swallow, he begins.

"My dad died when I was 10. I'd hardly started training as a mechwarrior, but that's what I was going to do. Be like him. But, uh, after he died..." He trails off, then after a shuddering breath, comes back: "I still made it happen, you know? Been a mechwarrior as long as it's been up to me. Not always pretty... Well, really never pretty I reckon," he laughs hollowly.

"So the whole noble mechwarrior thing kinda... fell apart... But I reckon maybe I can still do right by some people, protect people that deserve protecting, and, ah... Well, just hope." His voice is getting rocky. "Just hope." He's sitting hunched forward, eyes back on the floor.

[Felicity]

"Hope that...?" Felicity asks, moving away from the holotank and walking over to him. She reached out to rub his shoulder. "It's not good to walk around carrying all that weight on your own Bruun. Hell, my own childhood was better than that, and I hated it. I mean, setting that aside, you're doing well here aren't you? Keep being reliable and you'll end up as the Major's right hand man."

[Dorgan Bruun]

His shoulder at first shies from the touch, but with a rough breath he settles again and accepts it. He doesn't look up right away.

"It's easier to hide from the past when you only live in the moment. No time for looking back." He takes a heavy breath. "But I was trying to slow down, be more thoughtful before this job... Now I reckon I got too comfortable. Start feeling like staying someplace, and you remember other places you've stayed, which for me really only means where I was before I turned 18." He shakes his head a few times, then looks up at Fee.

"I reckon that's enough of that for now. Story gets worse before it gets better," he says somewhat ominously. Taking a deep breath, he runs both hands over his face and head. He exhales loudly. "I usually save this kind of stuff for long talks, with drinking."

[Felicity]

Felicity tried to lighten the mood. "A shame I don't really drink, si?"

She points to the holotank. "Come, look at these mechs with me. They will cheer you up."